Lucy and I went to the hair salon yesterday when the strangest thing happened. There were 4 ladies that literally had us surrounded in a matter of seconds. That's when the questions started. Is she adopted? Where is she from? She is SO cute! Was it a hard process? She is SO cute! Oh, just look at those BLACK eyes! How long did it take? Then brace yourself.... How is her English coming along??? What the hell does that mean? I know people reading this will find it odd but this is not the first time I've been asked this question. I have a standard response (the only one evidently): How was your English at 17 mos? If you can believe it, that didn't shut them up and it continued for another 5-10 min. C'mon! Can't a girl just get her brows waxed? Does every outing have to be an adoption education session???? I know, now I'm exaggerating but sometimes that's how it feels.
I get it. People mean well. But is that enough to excuse rude questions? I also realize that this will not be the last time we're caught in situations like that. But it's one thing if I started a conversation about Lucy being adopted, or if I actually knew these people. But it really felt like Lucy and I were being pounced upon. I felt vunerable. I had this gutteral urge to pick Lucy up and run out of the salon. How do I protect her from things like that? Will folks have the good sense to stop with the questions when she is old enough to understand what they are talking about? I seriously doubt it. How do I prepare her for things like that? You know me, I'm direct. But in these situations I feel at a loss of what to say or how to respond. Mostly because I want to say just the right thing so that I ensure I'm a good role model for my daughter! Luckily one of the ladies had a dog with her (I know, that's a whole other story!) that Lucy was enthralled with so hopefully she wasn't paying attention to what was happening around her.
There are days that I look at that precious girl of mine and wonder how I could EVER be this lucky (pretty much everyday I guess). I just want to smell her and squeeze her and smother her with kisses. Yesterday was definitely one of those days.
PK
Rejoicing in the Inheritance
9 years ago
Posts
2 comments:
Dear Phyllis,
I read your story about the visit to the hair salon, well, it´s the same all over the world. Your answer regarding the English language (in our case German, of course) is very good. I must remember this the next time I am asked how Fernando´s German is going on... I know these situations so very well. "He is SO cute, look at this nice skin color, oh my God, he is SO cute". And they TOUCH them, every time, sometimes I want to kill them - or at least touch them back and pull at their hair or something like that. But you have to be patient and kind, because of the children. Don´t let Lucy feel that you are upset. Let her feel that it is normal, and it belongs to her, it is the story of her life and she has to deal with it. Make her a self-confident girl and she will be able to deal with it. It IS normal, people will always ask her strange things and sometimes they will be cruel, unfortunately. Make her strong. But I am sure you will, your love will protect her forever!!!
Sorry for this long comment, but I know SO good what you are talking about.
Ha, Micha said: "Don´t go to the hair salon that often"...
Love from your German friends
Katja, Micha and Fernando
HEY - I was just asked that question about language last weekend about Hope! I can't believe it! AND, we were out on Saturday for lunch and why is it that every time someone comes to collect your plate, fill your water, or whatever...they have to touch your baby!? BACK OFF PEOPLE! I'm with you sister!
Well, you know me...I'm not always very direct, but I have to admit that becoming a mother has thickened my skin a bit. I'm trying to prepare for the day when I just flatly can say, "I'd rather not answer personal questions right now, but thank you for telling me our daughter is beautiful. We certainly think so." :)
Beth
Post a Comment